Chapter 18

          I didn’t sleep well through the night. Having a mixture of excitement and nervousness, I kept waking up every hour thinking it was time to get up. When it was eight, I just decided to get up instead of trying to sleep. One of the longest days on the Island had just begun. I had nothing planned except hanging out with Kassedelia and the others at seven. My day proceeded to be pretty much uneventful until seven, unless you count getting the high score in the racing game.

          Finally it was 6:30, and I was ready to head towards the club. I was feeling pretty confident as I walked toward the club that Kassedelia had mentioned. When I got to the entrance, there was a big man standing at the door.

          “What do you think you are doing?” He said. I could tell he had a judging tone as he looked me over.

          “I thought I could go in the club. I have a fri…”

          “A friend inside?” he laughed, “Do you know how many times I hear that every night be people just like you?”

          “Five times?” I asked naively. The big man just laughed.

          “You know nothing, little guy.” He said as he signaled for me to go to the back of the line. Just as he signaled, Kassedelia came through the door in the club.

          “Hey Bro!” she shouted in order to get me to turn back towards the club. Then she turned towards the big man, “James, he’s with me.”

          “With you?!” the big man, who I now knew as James, laughed again. “He’s not your type Kassedelia. Does he have a lot of money or something?” He joked as he started to lift the rope that was in front of the entrance.

          “It’s not that!” she said. “There’s something about him,” she smiled as she turned and gave me a wink. Then James allowed me through and we went inside. “Hey!” she exclaimed as she led me to her table with about three other guys. It was then that I immediately felt like the odd man out. All of the other guys had on nice suits and slicked back hair. I still had my t-shirt and jeans combo from Gula. It was strange how I never cared to look super nice until then. My mind was going through the many ways I could possibly impress Kassedelia. She obviously hangs out with guys that look sharp. I tried to ignore it and get time with Kassedelia. I didn’t like the atmosphere at the club. When we were at Neocortex, my only place of comparison, the atmosphere was built around conversation. At this club, the music was loud and the atmosphere seemed geared towards drinking and dancing.

“Hey, so sometime would you like to get coffee?” I asked Kassedelia as she looked over at me.

“What?” She yelled back. The music was too loud for her to hear me. I felt so dumb that she couldn’t hear me the first time that I decided to wait and ask her at a separate time outside of the club. I caught Kassedelia’s eyes several times throughout the night, and each time conversation didn’t really happen. Just being there and exchanging smiles felt like I was really living. I decided to be content with being in her presence. Because it was hard to communicate through the night, I decided to pay close attention to the other guys. I figured if they have been granted time with her in the past that I could get some pointers from them. Each had a drink and was either leaned back in their seat or standing by acting sort of aloof or apathetic maybe. It was hard to tell exactly.

Then a song with a really good beat came on. One of the guys quickly took advantage of the song and asked her to dance. I don’t know why I expected different with this style of music, but they started dancing in a very sexual way. I sort of became angry. Part of me felt offended that Kassedelia was into that kind of dancing, but part of me wanted to be that guy. I started thinking about leaving early, because I really didn’t care to watch this happen. Luckily, after the dance was over we all decided that it was time to go.

“You should join us again sometime.” Kassedelia asked me when we stepped out the door. Even though I felt more frustrated with how the evening had went, that smile drew me in.

“Sure,” I announced without thinking. I wanted to kick myself. Was this something that I really wanted? We decided to part ways and I went back to Babel to sleep. It was late enough at this point that Bro and Peyti had already went to their rooms. I decided to quickly do the same and go to bed.

When Saturday morning came, I woke up with determination. My frustration in not being sure if I wanted this turned into being almost all in. If I was going to get Kassedelia to like me, I needed to do something different. I got up and after getting ready I walked to the nearest suit store.

“Can I help you sir?” the man inside the door stated.

“Yeah, I’m interested in looking at suits.”

“Well, we are the best in the city, so look no further.” He smiled. “Now is there a certain style that you are interested in?”

“I have no idea,” I mentioned blankly. I really didn’t know what looked good since I was usually content with my t-shirts.

“Well, we can just try on some things and see what looks best on you.” He said as he took me over towards some of the suits in my size. He had me try on suit after suit. At first I was still doubtful but as the minutes progressed, I started enjoy myself. I looked really good in suits! “How about this one?” the man asked while I was trying on my tenth suit.

“Oh wow!” I smiled, “I like it!”

“Should I place this one aside to buy?”

“Yes, thank you” I mentioned as I was taking it off and handing it to him.

“Now, you can’t just buy one suit.” He explained, “It’s tacky to wear the same suit throughout the week. You need at least three or four.”

“Ok,” I smiled. I was beginning to enjoy how I was looking in these suits. Five hours later, I found four more suits.

When we got to the counter to check them out, the man stated, “That will be 4,000 Coin.” My mouth sort of dropped. I didn’t realize that it would be that much. At this point, I had spent so much time in the store and I self admittedly looked really good. Knowing that I wouldn’t have much Coin until Monday, I still decided to go ahead and buy the suits.

“Alright thanks!” I handed the money over to the man and he gave me the suits. I knew that I would look great and that Kassedelia might notice me more now.

I started to walk back to Babel with a chip on my shoulder. As I got close the entrance, I realized that Peyti and Bro would not be happy that I spent so much money. I quickly started thinking how I was going to justify this. I knew that Bro would be really mad if I told him I did it all to impress Kassedelia. I hid the suits as much as I could behind my back as I opened up the door to our place.

“Hello?” I questioned as I cracked open the door. No one was home. I lucked out. I quickly rushed to my room and hung the suits up. I knew that I obviously couldn’t hide the fact that I had suits when I would start to wear them around, but at least I didn’t have to think too much on my toes. To cover up how I spent my afternoon, I decided to get a higher score on one of the arcades. When Bro and Peyti came home, we chatted for a bit. When they asked how my day was I just said it was uneventful again except for getting the high score in a game.

“We are getting tired of this place,” Bro sighed.

“We know that you are starting to find some purpose here, Bro,” Peyti said to me, “But we are still feeling lost. We just want you to know that, but we did at least promise this next week to keep trying.”

“Thanks guys,” I said, “We’ll find something! I’m sure we will!” The others sort of shrugged even though they were smiling.

We went to bed and the next day we all decided to just have a fun day. It was good to spend time with them. I forgot how relaxing it was to be around them. It was kind of hard to not bring up the suits, but I really wanted to protect them by not disappointing them again.

Before we knew it, the day had passed and another work week began. I started the morning by putting on my favorite suit and heading to work. I had my eye out for Kassedelia. I daydreamed while riding the elevator that she would see me and fall head over heels. When I got to my floor, I didn’t see her at her desk so I went ahead to my office. I worked for a bit and then she came in not long after.

“Oh hey!” she said with a large smile on her face. “You look great!”

“Thanks,” I smiled back. I tried to act smooth like I wasn’t doing all this to impress her. I knew that was how the other guys acted when they were around her and I was trying to follow suit (not only by wearing the suit). My confidence was boosted again. “Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” I asked politely.

“Well…” she hesitated, “I am actually going out with the guys again if you want to come along with us?” I was a little disheartened. I knew that I would not only have to compete for attention again, but I would have to endure the loud club scene. But I was at the point that I would do anything for her. I don’t know why I was already there in my mindset. I just knew that she was the bridge to who I was. I couldn’t explain why I felt that way. I just did.

“Sure!” I said without regret.

“Great! See you at seven again?”

“Great!” I said as she winked again and walked out of the office. Because I was looking forward to the night, my work day flew by. As I walked up to the club, I saw James again at the front of the club.

“Welcome sir,” James said humbly.

“You aren’t going to fight with me about me entering or not?” I was confused. He lifted his glasses and realized that I was the same guy from Friday.

“Woah, what happened to you?!” he said being surprised by my change of appearance.

“Just fitting in a bit more,” I smiled.

“Come and look like that every night, and you won’t have to argue with me about entering. Maybe I was wrong about Kassedelia being into you.”

“Thanks man,” I said as he let me through the door. Although I was dressed nicer, I didn’t get any more time with Kassedelia than I did on Friday. I did get another invite to go the following night though.

A strangely similar thing happened on Tuesday. The night ended and I got another invite to the club on Wednesday. This time at the club was different. I wasn’t going to be passive. When the music turned to a good beat, I made sure I got to Kassedelia first. I asked her to dance with me. Of course she wanted to dance like the previous nights. Although I knew I didn’t like to dance that way, I felt like it was the way I could be closer to her. I just felt like it seemed like I was being disrespectful to her by dancing that way. But since she wanted to dance, I went ahead and danced with her. As the night closed and we walked out the door I asked to walk her back to her place.

          When she gave me permission I asked, “So where do you live?”

          “The upper district.” She said, “Have you been there before?”

          “No, I haven’t,” I shared, “You might have to lead me then.”

          “Alright!” she smiled as she reached for my hand. If she was playing me, at this point I would totally be fine with it. For a girl so stunning to want to hold my hand was amazing to me. We walked all the way to her mansion in the upper district. It was so crazy to see all these mansions on the hill above the city. I could see Babel in a distance towering over the downtown section of the city. When we got to her door and I began to say goodbye, she went in for a kiss. I didn’t oppose. It was amazing. I knew I was falling for her. Then she went inside and I turned around and headed back to Babel.

          When I arrived at the hotel, I walked in expecting everyone to be asleep, but Bro and Peyti were sitting in the living room waiting for me. “Where have you been these last few nights?” Bro asked.

          “Out with Kassedelia again.” I explained

          “And where did you get that suit?!” Peyti smiled. I then realized that I was being caught about the suits. I forgot that they hadn’t seen them yet because I was waking up and going to bed when they were asleep.

          “Um… work bought them for me because they said they wanted me to look more professional.”

          “Looks great!” Peyti said joyfully. They completely trusted me. It was hard not telling them the truth, but I wanted so badly to not disappoint them again.

          “We are looking at heading out at the end of the week still.” Bro interrupted the happy moment for us.

          “I’m just getting used to this place though.” I sighed. Sort of like a child that doesn’t get their way.

          “Bro,” Bro explained, “Can you honestly tell us that this is giving us an idea of who we are? Do you honestly want to find purpose anymore? Or are you content with making this your new purpose?” Bro was cutting me to my core. I knew he was right. I hadn’t found out anything more about myself. But I was finally enjoying something. Why should I give that up for the unknown?

          “I’m staying!” I proclaimed.

          “That’s what we feared…” Bro said disappointedly, “Peyti and I discussed it, and we decided that if you were going to stay, then we would leave tonight and go to Superbia.” Peyti looked at me disappointedly as well at this point.

          “Alright,” I said bluntly. “Maybe we will see each other again.”

          “Hopefully!” Peyti, now crying, said.

          “If we find out what this is about, we will make it our goal to find you.” Bro said, “Come on, Peyti, let’s let him go.” Then just like that they started to leave. I didn’t realize that they had their bags by the door already.

          All I could do was lie on my bed. I had such a great finish to my night and then I had to have that finish instead. Because it was so late, I still fell asleep quickly.

Days then began to pass quickly. I continued my usual agenda by going to the club with Kassedelia. When a month had passed, I had moved to a mansion in the upper district near Kassedelia. I still didn’t know much about myself, but I knew that being with her felt right. She still was mysterious though. She wasn’t as committed to me as I was to her either.

Then one night, I was opening the door to my mansion as I was coming back from Kassedelia’s. As I was opening the door, I heard rustling coming from my bedroom. It was pitch black besides the light coming from the moon. I silently grabbed a knife from the kitchen and headed up to my room. The light behind the door was one. I could tell that someone was behind it. I slammed the door open and yelled, “Who are you!? What are you doing!?”

“John Small? I’ve been looking for you.”