After our new friends had received their
drinks we went to the next floor that was filled with seating booths. We sat
down at one, and the guys finished their drinks as we talked. I started
noticing a fairly quick change in the topic. The guys were starting to discuss
some deeper concepts. Half of the time, Bro, Peyti, and I couldn’t even follow
the conversation and had to just sit in amazement.
“How
do you even know we exist?” Sam asked the others. At that point my mind started
spinning in confusion. First of all, I didn’t think something so intelligent
could come from Sam’s mouth. He was a very simple guy. Or at least I took him to
be. Then I started trying to picture my nonexistence. It was hurting my head to
think of other possibilities. Especially since it felt like my life was so
real.
“For
me, I don’t think we can know,” Ian started, “I mean, there are so many
possibilities. What if we are really in a control room somewhere outside of
this island and they have us thinking we are here?”
“Or
what if we are a virtual creation of someone else’s imagination?” interjected
Tom.
“Don’t
you think that us simply thinking has anything to do with our existence
though?” Sam said.
“That
is true to some extent,” Ian continued, “But I was talking to a guy in here the
other day about the same topic and he mentioned that fact that we can’t even
trust our thoughts. What if they are not really rational?”
“Woah,
I didn’t even think of that.” Sam returned. “This place is so awesome.” I was
beginning to think the same. It was very appealing to be thinking on a higher
level, but I knew I didn’t need to be spending any money.
The
conversation continued for another hour or so, but then I realized how the
conversation became simpler until the guys were just talking about simple stuff
like what is going on at the farm. The drink had ran out I guess.
“I
guess it’s time to go back,” said Ian. Then we got up and left for the farm.
When we got back, I was up later than usual. I was thinking about all the
topics that had been discussed. I also noticed that Peyti seemed like she was
up thinking about these things as well.
The
next morning, I asked Peyti, “What do you think about last night?”
“I’m
unsure,” She explained, “I don’t know if I want to think of that deep of stuff.
What if I don’t like the conclusions that I would come to?”
“Yeah,
I feel the same,” I returned, “I kind of want to try it out though. I don’t see
too much harm in it.” After talking for a bit more, we decided that the next
time we went, we would get a drink.
Ian
was accustomed to going to Neocortex twice a week so we waited until he went. I
began to build up the time in my head. Maybe this was the answer to all of my
questions about myself. I had to try this drink out to see if it would recall
memories or something about me. Nonetheless, thinking at a higher level was
very appealing to me.
When
the day came, we had decided that we would only get one hour drinks. The whole
crew decided to come with us again. I hadn’t looked at the price of the drinks,
but I was really surprised. A one our drink was only 2 Coin. The other guys got
two hour drinks, Peyti and I got one hour drinks, and Bro was still skeptical
and didn’t get anything. We got our drinks and headed to the same booth the
last night we were there.
The
drinks were all small and meant to be taken like shots. We all took them at the
same time and I immediately noticed my eyes widen and my mind focus on one
topic at a time. I felt very aware of conversation and although my mind was
racing, I was able to keep up with it and develop thought patterns. The thrill
and adrenaline that came with it kept me engaged in conversation. I was
addicted.
Peyti
on the other hand, didn’t seem to like it. After my hour was up, we talked
about it for a bit and she decided that she wasn’t going to have it again.
“You
know, you should watch how much you drink this.” She said to me, “If you get
addicted, you will waste a lot of your money.”
“I’m
unsure of how many times I’d want to keep coming,” I responded, “It’s nice, but
I agree with you. Even though it is 2 Coin, the money could add up and we are
here to earn money.”
“Exactly,
I’m glad you understand.” Peyti said. I knew that I was being honest, but there
was a large pulling to have another drink. I didn’t do it that night, but I knew
I would at least have another.
Later
that evening I heard Bro and Peyti talking.
“So
why didn’t you like it, Peyti?” Bro asked.
“Well
although my mind was processing things a lot better, it kind of took a turn
toward worry. I started thinking about the money I spent and how I needed to
save. Honestly, that almost took up my whole hour of thinking. I’m surprised
none of the other guys were worrying about things.” Peyti Answered, “Why didn’t
you try it, Bro?”
“Well,
first off, I know that we need to save our money. But I also have been
listening to all of you. I noticed the other guys were all talking about
purpose. I know that is why it is drawing. Maybe we can figure out why we are
here, but I feel like they were going in directions that ended up meaningless.
For a while I even thought about how they have been going in endless directions.
The drink may even provide a detour from our real purpose, and for that I really
would like to earn our money and leave this city.”
When
Bro mentioned that, it definitely made sense. I knew that I shouldn’t try this too
many more times, but my mind was so set on it, I at least was going to try it
one more time.
We
continued working for the next couple of the days. We had become good enough at
our jobs that our work day only took a few hours if that. When the day arrived
for us to go to the Neocortex again, Bro decided he didn’t want to go. He
wanted to let me know that he didn’t approve. Peyti came along, but I was the
only one out of us three to get a drink. I got a two hour drink in order to be
on the same page as the other guys.
Before
I knew it, I was doing this for the next few weeks. I’d even come a bit early
and have a longer drink. Bro and Peyti both stopped coming, and they would try
and talk me out of it during the work day.
When
a month passed, I had been going every night for a couple hours. I wasn’t
getting anywhere on what our purpose was, but there was still hope that
somebody in Neocortex had the answer. One night before I left, I noticed that
Bro and Peyti were packing.
“What
are you guys doing?” I asked them.
“What
do you think,” Bro said. He sounded very frustrated. “We are leaving this
place. This isn’t good for us, and I know that you are looking for purpose at
this place, but it is only sucking you in. You haven’t learned anything except
how many possibilities are out there and how you will never know. That sounds depressing
to me. So Peyti and I are leaving.”
“We
still want you to come with us.” Peyti said hopefully. Bro then gave her a look
that I could tell was upset with her for offering forgiveness. My heart was
torn. I knew that what I was looking for wasn’t here. “We have enough money for
at least a year,” she continued. I knew that I needed to go with them, so I nodded
and began to pack up. We said goodbye to the boys and left for Avaritia that
night.
