Chapter 13

After our new friends had received their drinks we went to the next floor that was filled with seating booths. We sat down at one, and the guys finished their drinks as we talked. I started noticing a fairly quick change in the topic. The guys were starting to discuss some deeper concepts. Half of the time, Bro, Peyti, and I couldn’t even follow the conversation and had to just sit in amazement.

          “How do you even know we exist?” Sam asked the others. At that point my mind started spinning in confusion. First of all, I didn’t think something so intelligent could come from Sam’s mouth. He was a very simple guy. Or at least I took him to be. Then I started trying to picture my nonexistence. It was hurting my head to think of other possibilities. Especially since it felt like my life was so real.

          “For me, I don’t think we can know,” Ian started, “I mean, there are so many possibilities. What if we are really in a control room somewhere outside of this island and they have us thinking we are here?”

          “Or what if we are a virtual creation of someone else’s imagination?” interjected Tom.

          “Don’t you think that us simply thinking has anything to do with our existence though?” Sam said.

          “That is true to some extent,” Ian continued, “But I was talking to a guy in here the other day about the same topic and he mentioned that fact that we can’t even trust our thoughts. What if they are not really rational?”

          “Woah, I didn’t even think of that.” Sam returned. “This place is so awesome.” I was beginning to think the same. It was very appealing to be thinking on a higher level, but I knew I didn’t need to be spending any money.

          The conversation continued for another hour or so, but then I realized how the conversation became simpler until the guys were just talking about simple stuff like what is going on at the farm. The drink had ran out I guess.

          “I guess it’s time to go back,” said Ian. Then we got up and left for the farm. When we got back, I was up later than usual. I was thinking about all the topics that had been discussed. I also noticed that Peyti seemed like she was up thinking about these things as well.

          The next morning, I asked Peyti, “What do you think about last night?”

          “I’m unsure,” She explained, “I don’t know if I want to think of that deep of stuff. What if I don’t like the conclusions that I would come to?”

          “Yeah, I feel the same,” I returned, “I kind of want to try it out though. I don’t see too much harm in it.” After talking for a bit more, we decided that the next time we went, we would get a drink.

          Ian was accustomed to going to Neocortex twice a week so we waited until he went. I began to build up the time in my head. Maybe this was the answer to all of my questions about myself. I had to try this drink out to see if it would recall memories or something about me. Nonetheless, thinking at a higher level was very appealing to me.

          When the day came, we had decided that we would only get one hour drinks. The whole crew decided to come with us again. I hadn’t looked at the price of the drinks, but I was really surprised. A one our drink was only 2 Coin. The other guys got two hour drinks, Peyti and I got one hour drinks, and Bro was still skeptical and didn’t get anything. We got our drinks and headed to the same booth the last night we were there.

          The drinks were all small and meant to be taken like shots. We all took them at the same time and I immediately noticed my eyes widen and my mind focus on one topic at a time. I felt very aware of conversation and although my mind was racing, I was able to keep up with it and develop thought patterns. The thrill and adrenaline that came with it kept me engaged in conversation. I was addicted.

          Peyti on the other hand, didn’t seem to like it. After my hour was up, we talked about it for a bit and she decided that she wasn’t going to have it again.

          “You know, you should watch how much you drink this.” She said to me, “If you get addicted, you will waste a lot of your money.”

          “I’m unsure of how many times I’d want to keep coming,” I responded, “It’s nice, but I agree with you. Even though it is 2 Coin, the money could add up and we are here to earn money.”

          “Exactly, I’m glad you understand.” Peyti said. I knew that I was being honest, but there was a large pulling to have another drink. I didn’t do it that night, but I knew I would at least have another.

          Later that evening I heard Bro and Peyti talking.

          “So why didn’t you like it, Peyti?” Bro asked.

          “Well although my mind was processing things a lot better, it kind of took a turn toward worry. I started thinking about the money I spent and how I needed to save. Honestly, that almost took up my whole hour of thinking. I’m surprised none of the other guys were worrying about things.” Peyti Answered, “Why didn’t you try it, Bro?”

          “Well, first off, I know that we need to save our money. But I also have been listening to all of you. I noticed the other guys were all talking about purpose. I know that is why it is drawing. Maybe we can figure out why we are here, but I feel like they were going in directions that ended up meaningless. For a while I even thought about how they have been going in endless directions. The drink may even provide a detour from our real purpose, and for that I really would like to earn our money and leave this city.”

          When Bro mentioned that, it definitely made sense. I knew that I shouldn’t try this too many more times, but my mind was so set on it, I at least was going to try it one more time.

          We continued working for the next couple of the days. We had become good enough at our jobs that our work day only took a few hours if that. When the day arrived for us to go to the Neocortex again, Bro decided he didn’t want to go. He wanted to let me know that he didn’t approve. Peyti came along, but I was the only one out of us three to get a drink. I got a two hour drink in order to be on the same page as the other guys.

          Before I knew it, I was doing this for the next few weeks. I’d even come a bit early and have a longer drink. Bro and Peyti both stopped coming, and they would try and talk me out of it during the work day.

          When a month passed, I had been going every night for a couple hours. I wasn’t getting anywhere on what our purpose was, but there was still hope that somebody in Neocortex had the answer. One night before I left, I noticed that Bro and Peyti were packing.

          “What are you guys doing?” I asked them.

          “What do you think,” Bro said. He sounded very frustrated. “We are leaving this place. This isn’t good for us, and I know that you are looking for purpose at this place, but it is only sucking you in. You haven’t learned anything except how many possibilities are out there and how you will never know. That sounds depressing to me. So Peyti and I are leaving.”

          “We still want you to come with us.” Peyti said hopefully. Bro then gave her a look that I could tell was upset with her for offering forgiveness. My heart was torn. I knew that what I was looking for wasn’t here. “We have enough money for at least a year,” she continued. I knew that I needed to go with them, so I nodded and began to pack up. We said goodbye to the boys and left for Avaritia that night.